A/N: Definitely don't own anything you recognize.
More A/N at the end
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EPOV
I closed Bella's door without looking back at Jasper, my eyes focused only on the beautiful woman sprawled across the bed. That damn X-Men t-shirt had ridden up and her pants were low on her hips, exposing her pale abdomen and the sexiest fucking hip bones I'd ever seen. Her arms were thrown over her head, resting across both our pillows as she stared at the ceiling.
When Jasper knocked on the door, we'd both jumped. I don't know about Bella, but I know I'd been confused as hell at first. As soon as I felt her in my arms, I knew exactly where I was, and I chose to stay there for a moment before I got up to answer the door. It had taken a lot to make me move away from her once she nuzzled her head under my chin.
I didn't really want us to remember our first morning waking up together as being jarred out of bed by Jasper, so I walked over to where Bella was lying and crawled back into bed. I lay on my side, my arm folded under my head with her elbow just inches from my face. She felt my weight settle on the bed and turned on her side to look at me with a small smile.
"Morning…" she said quietly, "Did you sleep okay?"
I felt the smile spreading on my face as I whispered, "Best sleep I've had in a long time…you?" I couldn't stand not touching her anymore, so I rested my hand lightly on her hip, watching her eyes to make sure she was still okay with it.
"Mmm…" was all she said as her eyes drifted closed and she shifted on the bed, moving close to me. She slipped her arm around my waist and rested her cheek against my chest while my arm tightened around her waist, pulling her even closer to hug her as her knee slid naturally between mine.
We both felt it at the same time.
Bella froze, and her hand fisted the back of my shirt as she became fully aware of my arousal for the first time.
Fuck.
My breath caught as I froze with her. All of my worry about what to do about this particular problem had been forgotten in the comfort of holding Bella during the night, and now I was shoved into the situation with no clue how to handle it. In that instant, I decided that I had been right – Bella needed to know. She needed to understand that I wanted her, but it didn't control me.
Decision made, albeit really fucking hastily, I finally exhaled and began rubbing gently up and down her back, trying to comfort her and let her know I was there and I loved her. Slowly, she lifted her head, pushing away a bit to look at me. Her eyes met mine, and I saw a trace of fear there, but I also saw curiosity and - I thought - even a bit of desire.
We stared at each other in silence, and I realized I was counting the seconds in my head. Bella's abdomen was still pressed against my hips, and her heat was doing nothing to help the situation – but neither was that faint hint of longing in her eyes. I waited for her to break the silence, letting her work through whatever was going on in her mind. I was dying to ask her, and I wished like hell I could just know what she was thinking, but I waited as patiently as I could.
Finally, she glanced away, her cheeks blooming red with her blush as she bit her bottom lip and stammered, "Is it…I…I mean…is it…because it's…umm…morning?"
Fucking hell.
Of course she would know about morning wood. She'd lived with Jasper for five years – how could she have remained oblivious?
Dude, just say yes. She gets it.
But that's not why…
Doesn't matter. Just say yes.
"Ahh…no…not really…" I said, feeling my own cheeks heat as I kept rubbing Bella's back.
What the fuck, man?
What? It's true.
I could hear my voices grumbling as if I'd betrayed them.
Bella's eyes returned to mine before she said, "Then…what…?" The look of curiosity was now mingled with uncertainty, but at least they were winning out over her fear.
I glanced away from her, now agreeing with my voices.
Should've fucking said it was just morning wood.
Oh, now you get it. Asshole.
"It's…" I began and then cleared my throat when my voice came out a strangled squeak. "It's because…" I looked back at her, and the sight of her eyes gazing into mine unhinged me. My words spewed out quickly. "It's because I'm lying in bed, holding the most beautiful woman I've ever met, and I love you and…" I want you. So badly. I shrugged and trailed off, unable to say the last words. I did manage to keep my eyes on her, though I wanted nothing more than to look away.
And maybe go crawl into a hole and hide.
Why can't I just tell her I want her?
God, I'm a fourteen-year-old boy embarrassed because his girlfriend caught him with a boner.
Well…Bella usually turns you into a twelve-year-old girl, right? We're making progress.
Fuck off.
I closed my eyes, lost in my own mortification, but after awhile, I felt Bella's fingers caressing my cheek. I looked back at her and saw concern and love on her face. She was worried about me. Her expression and her touch helped me relax and gave me the courage I needed to admit, "I want you, Bella." The words were spoken quietly, but it gave me a small thrill to finally say them out loud.
She didn't say anything, though her fingers continued their exploration of my face. She traced my cheekbones and my jaw, running her thumb across my lower lip. It was maddening not to know what she was thinking when she looked at me that way.
It was maddening not to be able to kiss her when she was so close.
Her expression was unreadable, but she didn't move away from me, and the way she was touching me told me that she was okay with the feeling of me pressed against her. My thumb rubbed gently along her back while I kept my palm flat against the small of her back, holding her close.
She ran her fingers down my neck, following the curve of my shoulder before they trailed down my arm, and her hand came to rest on my hip. Still, she said nothing.
"What are you thinking, Bella?" I finally asked quietly, unable to take the silence.
Her brow furrowed, and she bit her bottom lip as she kept her gaze focused on my eyes. She looked as though she was trying to solve a puzzle, and she didn't answer at first. When she spoke, her voice was a hushed whisper that echoed mine. "Is umm…is this the…the first time?"
I nearly groaned. Could this get any more embarrassing for me? As it was, I couldn't stop the sigh that escaped, but I decided to just get it out there. She needed to understand this. And, honestly, I took her curiosity as a good sign – talking about it calmly was probably the best reaction I could hope for. Maybe it meant she was open to the possibility as well. "No, it ahh…it isn't. It's actually kind of…often…around you…"
Yeah, like every fucking second.
The heat on my cheeks just added to my humiliation, and I had to glance away. I looked over her head, staring at the wall on the other side of the bed.
"I think I like that you want me…" She began, drawing my eyes again. I watched as her expression became sheepish and unsure before she finally continued, "but…why…?"
I didn't understand her question at all, but she didn't look like she was planning to continue it. "Why…what, love?" I asked, finally moving my hand to brush the hair from her forehead. I tucked the lock behind her ear before I slowly returned my hand to its place on her back.
Her blush deepened, and she looked away, staring down at my chest. "Why haven't you tried to…do…anything?"
My hand stilled as I tried to decide how best to answer her question. I thought it was more important to be honest with her here than on maybe any other point. Pretending her problem didn't exist wasn't going to help either of us, but I didn't want her to feel awkward or self-conscious. It wasn't her fault – it was just something we were going to have to work through together.
God, please let her want to work through it.
Her question made me vaguely uneasy for another reason, but it took me a minute to figure out why. Then I heard the echo of Tanya's voice in my mind.
"If you want me so bad, then why don't you ever try to touch me? I always have to start everything. What's wrong with you? Is it me? Am I that ugly?"
I clenched my jaw and stared ahead, willing the memories away. Bella wasn't asking the same thing, was she? How the hell was I supposed to make her feel safe and let her know just how much I wanted her at the same time? I mean…fuck, sometimes the strength of my desire for her scared me.
"Hey…" Bella's gentle voice cut through my turmoil as her hand cupped my cheek. "Are you okay?"
I stared into her deep brown eyes and saw nothing but concern. There was no hurt, no accusation. She was such a good, caring person. I still didn't understand so much of this – how could she still be this way after all she'd been through? What in the world made her love me? I was overcome with the force of my emotions for her, and I ached to express that love physically, to connect with her in every way possible.
I had never felt that way before.
Bella was waiting for me to answer, but there were no words for what I needed to say. Never before had I actually needed so badly to kiss someone. I wanted nothing more than to pull her on top of me and spend the rest of the day kissing her…touching her…exploring her…learning her. For once, it wasn't wholly or even mostly physical – this was an emotional need to be close to her. And it was something I couldn't act on.
I wanted to growl in frustration.
Or maybe cry.
Instead, I gently rubbed her back again and focused on breathing evenly. As I calmed, I began to speak quietly, deciding honesty was more important than choosing my words carefully. "I haven't tried anything because I'm not sure what you're ready for…I can't stand the thought of scaring you, Bella. You're going to have to tell me what you're thinking…what you want…but-" I shut my mouth quickly, deciding at the last second not to continue.
I was too afraid of the answer to the question I started to ask.
I lifted my chin, again looking over Bella's head at the wall behind her. It was such a strange contradiction – I had never been happier than I was here, holding her, but at the same time, I felt like I was on the verge of my world crumbling. We had finally reached the point where I would know, absolutely, how Bella thought of me, and I suddenly wasn't sure I could handle it.
"Edward, whatever it is, you can tell me." I heard the faint tremor in her voice and looked back to her quickly. She put on a brave face, but I could see the fear in her eyes, this time of a different sort.
"Oh Bella, sweetheart…it's nothing like that, I swear." I didn't even know what she could possibly be worried about, but this one was totally my insecurity. It had nothing to do with her. She gave a small smile but didn't look convinced. I sighed.
Fuck it. Ask her.
"I was just going to ask…" I looked away with a small shake of my head before I looked back at her. I couldn't quite meet her eye, so I was staring at her lips when I asked, "Bella, do you…want me…at all?"
She didn't answer, and I watched as she bit her bottom lip. My hopes fell with every second that passed, making me wonder if she was trying to find a way to tell me that she didn't see me that way.
Shit, maybe I am another Jasper.
Before my thoughts could travel much further, I saw Bella tentatively lick her lips as she shifted. I stayed utterly still, confused by what she was doing as she came toward me. I lifted my eyes to hers just as she moved too close for me to see her clearly, and she pressed her lips gently against my cheek, just at the corner of my mouth. She hovered there for a moment. I heard her breathing speed just as mine did before I saw her give a soft smile.
She settled back on the bed, a look of quiet triumph on her face. Her eyes were earnest as she said, "When I said you made me want to try again, I meant try…everything. Edward…" She blushed but kept her eyes on mine. "I want you, too. Like I've never wanted anyone else…I…" she trailed off again with a small smile. Her voice was barely a whisper when she finished, "I don't know how to do any of this, but sometimes I want you so badly, I can't stand it…"
Her admission stunned me for a moment, and I sat staring like an idiot at her before a smile spread slowly across my lips as well. I pulled her closer, my hand moving up her back to tangle in her hair as I kissed her forehead. Bella's arm around my waist tightened, and she began rubbing my back gently, just as I had hers. We held each other in silence until Bella sighed contentedly and squeezed me before relaxing. I loosened my hold on her and moved my head back to look at her.
Her eyes held more questions, but her admission had calmed me. The knot of tension that I carried with me everywhere was unraveling, leaving me with a strange mingling of amazement and reassurance. Bella's words were at once shocking and unexpected…and yet simply an affirmation of what I'd already known.
So, for once, it was without trepidation that I asked quietly, "What is it, Bella?"
She blushed and glanced away before peeking back up at me shyly, piquing my curiosity. "I just was wondering if umm…well, if it would be alright if…" she broke off as her blush deepened, and she actually gave a small giggle.
What the fuck?
But god, she's adorable, isn't she?
I sensed the mental eye roll.
"If…?" I prompted gently.
Bella took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes as she whispered, "I was wondering if it would be okay if…I introduced you to the guys as umm…as my boyfriend?"
I felt a fluttering of excitement in my stomach at her words.
Bella wants to be my girlfriend!
Oh, I see the twelve-year-old girl is back…
Dude, shut the fuck up. Seriously.
I tried to contain myself as I said, "I'd really like that…" My smile broadened at the giddy look on her face. I loved seeing her smile like that, so I admitted, "I really wished you were going to last night actually."
Her smile turned sheepish as she said, "I nearly did," with a soft laugh.
I laughed with her, and her embarrassment slowly faded. We lay there for a little while, watching each other and just enjoying the freedom that came with all of our admissions – and with having those feelings returned. Our conversation turned to lighter topics before Bella finally sighed and said she should probably get ready. She teased me, saying Jasper was going to drink all the coffee himself if I didn't get out there.
To be honest, I'd completely forgotten about him. I glanced at the alarm clock on her nightstand and saw it was getting close to 10:30. I was sure Bella and I had been talking for more than the couple of minutes I'd promised, but it didn't matter. There was nothing that could touch my mood today.
Bella wants me. My inner voice was strutting. And she's my girlfriend.
I couldn't decide whether to snicker or strut with it. Bella sat up, and I couldn't help but pout at the sense of loss as her body moved away from mine. She giggled at me and crawled off the bed. I rolled over onto my back and propped myself up on my elbows as I watched her go into her closet.
My new position made me suddenly aware of just how full my bladder was, so with a groan, I pushed myself off the bed and stretched. I wandered into the bathroom, deciding to wash my face as I waited for my hard on to abate. I was sobered somewhat when I saw the washcloth and shirt floating in the murky water, and I was suddenly very glad that I'd come in here first. I squeezed the water from them one by one, placing them on the counter as I let the water drain. Glancing into the shower, I saw the empty towel rack and spread them out over it with a small frown.
I turned back to the mirror and raised my eyes to study my own reflection. Bella hadn't freaked out this morning, so I figured I couldn't look too bad. I leaned a little closer, noticing that my nose was swollen, making it look a little crooked, and a bruise was forming under my left eye. My contacts were gummy – again – and my eyes were bloodshot. I didn't look great, but it was better than it could have been. I smiled a little and shook my head. Bella definitely had a mean right hook.
I shrugged and quickly scrubbed my face and rinsed my mouth out before I tried to tame my hair. It wasn't happening. With a sigh, I used the restroom and washed my hands before I walked back into Bella's room.
She was sitting on the edge of her bed with a pile of clothes in her lap, smiling at me.
She is so beautiful…
Her hair was a mess from sleeping, but her eyes were bright, and that damn X-Men shirt was clinging to her in all the right places. I walked over and leaned down, placing a kiss on the top of her head. As I was straightening, she reached up and pulled me into a hug, her arms wrapped around my waist with her cheek pressing against my abdomen.
Good fucking god.
Clearly, Bella still didn't quite get the effect she had on me. I smiled and tried to keep my thoughts innocent as my hand rested on the back of her head. I ran my fingers through her hair once, and she looked up at me with a smile before she let me go.
"Guess I should get ready," she said with a grimace.
I grinned at her as we spoke, but my thoughts were becoming harder to control as I promised myself a nice, hot shower back at my apartment - and for once, I didn't feel like an ass about it.
I left Bella's bedroom as she went into the bathroom and made my way down the hallway. I inhaled deeply, enjoying the fragrance of the coffee as I came around the corner into the kitchen. Jasper was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed and a stormy look on his face. He seemed to be trying to control it as he silently got out two mugs and began pouring coffee for us.
Great. Please not back to this.
I was silent as we fixed our coffee, and I tried to hide my amusement at the small habits we seemed to have in common. My mood was soaring this morning, but Jasper had obviously had a rough night. So far the only time he'd spoken was to ask me if I took sugar. He was thinking hard about something, but I wasn't sure if he was going to make a decision anytime soon, and I really felt like there were a few things I needed to say to him.
After hearing Bella's story last night, I was a little bit in awe of Jasper and the way he'd always stuck by her. I hoped that he'd get over whatever problems he had with me soon, but my annoyance over that didn't negate the gratitude I felt for him.
I set my mug on the counter as I leaned against it, resting my hands on either side of my hips. I opened my mouth to thank him, but what I said was, "Bella's taking a shower…"
Nice job, chickenshit.
Yeah, probably not the best idea to taunt him about knowing Bella's in the shower.
Jasper just stared ahead, sipping his coffee as he gave a very slight nod.
I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath before I tried again. "Jasper?"
I waited until he finally looked at me. His expression was unreadable, so I just started speaking, trying to get out everything that seemed important to tell him. "I don't know how you fucking did it, but thank you. You must've gone through hell with her. I could barely take hearing about it last night, so I can only imagine the nightmare it must've been when it first happened – and you were only seventeen. I just needed to tell you that you have my complete respect, and I'm sorry I was a jealous ass to you."
His eyes widened, and he stared at me in silence for a minute. I was beginning to get a little uncomfortable, but I saw the way his face seemed to be relaxing. Something was happening to him. He looked…happier, somehow. Huh. It was good to know that something I said mattered that much to him.
He suddenly spoke, saying, "Don't worry about being an ass…god knows I was a fucking ass to you, too. I'm sorry about that. And you should know that I respect you, too. You've been so patient with Bella – and with me when I was being a jealous prick. I can't imagine how hard it is to fall in love with someone and be kept in the dark, just to find out that all that shit happened to her. Alice was right about you."
It was my turn to feel stunned as I listened to him. It felt damn good to know he'd seen and appreciated the way I cared for Bella. When I heard him mention falling in love, I gave a small smile, just happy that he could see that too.
There wasn't really anything else to be said right then, so I picked up my mug and sipped my coffee, trying not to grin when he did the same thing. We started talking about the guys that were coming down, and I filed away what information I could. He was telling me a story about one of the guys getting shot in the balls with a paintball gun when I heard Bella's door open.
"So Paul squeaks like a fucking mouse – swear to god – and falls over in slow motion. And Quil's standing ten feet away with the gun still pointed at him, laughing his ass off…" Jasper trailed off as Bella came into the kitchen. She walked straight to me and hugged me tightly around the waist. I smiled and kissed the top of her head, and I could just feel the change between us. She was so much more confident – so much of that uncertainty was gone. For both of us.
Bella pulled away and stepped back, sweeping her hair up into that little bun as she asked what we wanted for breakfast. I was about to suggest we go out to eat when Jasper said, "French toast!" and she laughed at him. She glanced over at me with one eyebrow raised, and I shrugged with a smile. I didn't even know what else she could make yet, but I knew she liked to cook.
Jasper pulled his phone from his pocket just as Bella said, "So what were you guys talking about?"
I started telling her the story, and she snorted as she shook her head. She said, "Oh, that's not the funny part…the funny part was the retaliation. I won't even get into it, but it involved wax, food coloring, and certain parts of Quil's anatomy that I never want to see."
I didn't even want to imagine how much that shit would hurt, and we all three laughed together as Jasper hung up the phone. He told us Alice was already on her way over and hopped up on the counter to talk. I noticed that for the first time, he really seemed to be trying to get to know me. He asked me questions and told me more stories, and I caught Bella glancing over at us with a quiet smile several times.
Suddenly, he said, "Shit, I better take a shower," and hopped down. He walked over to Bella and tickled her ribs, leaning down to whisper something. She squirmed out of reach and then beamed up at him as she said quietly, "It's okay, Jazz…I understand." She turned around, and they hugged briefly. He gave her a small smile before he nodded and turned to leave. He clapped me on the shoulder as he was walking past.
That was definitely new.
My eyes were a little wider than normal as I asked Bella if she needed any help. She glanced over her shoulder at me and told me it would be great if I'd set the table. As I gathered plates and silverware and walked into the dining room, I couldn't help the stupid grin on my face. I could get used to breakfast with Bella every morning.
She was humming to herself when I finished and walked back into the kitchen. I leaned against the counter and watched her with a smile until a knock on the door signaled Alice's arrival.
I went to let my little sister in, and she grinned up at me when I answered the door. "What?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Fancy seeing you here…" she said with a twinkle in her eyes.
I rolled my eyes but smiled as she hugged me. We spoke for a couple of minutes at the door before we walked to the kitchen together just as Jasper emerged from his bathroom. Bella was leaning against the counter watching as they kissed, and I moved to stand beside her, leaning back as well. I reached behind her, resting my palm on the counter on the other side of her. She smiled at me and moved a little closer, putting her arm around my waist.
The smallest touches from Bella sent thrills through me - I loved that she was becoming more comfortable. Her fingers tenderly caressed my side, and I moved my hand from the counter to her waist, squeezing her gently. Jasper disentangled himself from Alice, smiling when he saw us standing with our arms around each other. Whatever his issues with me were, he seemed to be getting over them.
"I'm fucking starving," he announced, going over to pick up the huge platter of French toast. Bella laughed at him and shook her head, and she and I fixed glasses of milk for everyone. Alice picked up the plate of bacon and kept the conversation going as we all moved into the dining room. I was struck by how natural it all felt; it seemed like we'd been doing this for years.
Bella seemed to cook for an army, but we somehow made a huge dent in the food and were finishing, just sitting around talking and picking at the last of our breakfast, when I heard Duran Duran playing from somewhere. I listened, trying to figure out where it was coming from, as Bella jumped up and patted her pockets.
Straddle the line in discord and rhyme
I'm on the hunt; I'm after you
"Fuck," she muttered absently and did a weird little running skip into the living room.
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I'm hungry like –
"What's up, Jake?" came Bella's voice as the song cut off suddenly.
Hungry Like the Wolf? What the fuck?
I glanced over at Jasper, and he shrugged at me with an expression that clearly said, Yup.
So this Jake guy was into Bella. Good to know.
I frowned, twisting the corner of my napkin between my fingers on top of the table as I waited for her to come back into the room. Jasper and Alice were talking, making it difficult to hear what Bella was saying. Her conversation was short, though, and she returned soon.
"They actually left on time for once," she told Jasper as she began clearing the table. I stood and helped her with Alice and Jasper following close behind, and together we made short work of the dishes.
Though I didn't want to leave, I wanted to be cleaned up and back before the guys arrived, so I went to Bella's room to change back into my jeans. I looked around for a hamper for Jasper's flannel pants and found one in the closet. When I lifted the lid, the edge of a blue lace bra was peeking out from beneath one of Bella's long-sleeved t-shirts.
God damn.
And I thought the white satin was bad. I tossed the pants in and quickly replaced the lid, deciding I really needed to get home for that shower soon.
As I walked back out into the hallway, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time and found I had nine unread text messages and two missed calls.
Nine? What the fuck?
I flipped the phone open to find a series of messages, all from Emmett. I stopped where I was and opened the first.
Took Rosalie home. Need to talk to you – call me.
Uh oh. I wished I could tell his tone from the message but no such luck, so I flipped to the next.
Seriously dude. Where are you?
I wasn't sure whether I should be worried or amused, but amusement won out as his messages became longer and more insistent. Besides, if it was really serious, he would've come back over last night. I opened the last one.
Edward. Remember that dude in college that took a cleat to the nuts and had to have one amputated? Yeah, that will look pleasant compared to what I'll do to you if you don't. Answer. The. Goddamn. Phone. Need to talk to you, fucker.
I winced, and my hand automatically covered my dick as I hissed. I'd been playing in a soccer game my sophomore year when one of our players tripped just as a forward for the other team reached him. There had been blood everywhere, and his scream had haunted me for weeks – both sides had played very carefully for the rest of the game. I'm sure it had to have been funny to watch us all turn and cover ourselves if we got too close, but we weren't taking any chances.
I shook my head as I started walking again, flipping through the menus to check the time of the messages. They'd started at 3:12 this morning, and the last was at 6:06. I wondered if Emmett had stayed up that entire time.
Seeing that it was now 11:19, I took my phone off silent, dropped it back into my pocket, and went into the living room to say good bye to Bella. She stood as I walked in and came over, slipping her hand into mine. I waved to Jasper and Alice before Bella walked me to the door.
She stepped outside with me, and I leaned down to hug her, holding her close for a moment. It still felt so good just to be able to touch her whenever I wanted. I smiled quietly when Bella placed a small kiss on my cheek.
"I love you," I told her as I straightened.
She blushed and smiled at me brightly as she said, "I love you too, Edward."
Just fucking kiss her, for the love of god.
I clenched my jaw at the unexpected urge and took a small step back, telling Bella good bye as I relaxed enough to smile at her. She leaned against the door frame just as she'd done the morning after I met her and watched me walk to my car and get inside.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I held it up to Bella and waved. She nodded and smiled at me before she waved and went back into the apartment. I settled back in my seat and scrolled through the phonebook to call Emmett.
He answered on the third ring with a muffled, "Took you fucking long enough."
"Em, man, is everything okay?" I asked.
I heard static and a groan as Emmett sat up, but his voice became clearer when he said, "Fuck, man, I don't know."
I frowned. I'd never heard Emmett sound so unsure about anything. "What's wrong?"
He sighed loudly on the other end and said, "Nothing's wrong. I don't think. Fuck!"
I couldn't help the amused smile that began spreading on my lips as I wondered if this had anything to do with Rosalie.
Before I could ask, he said, "Shit, man, can we meet for lunch or something?"
I told him we could, and we arranged to meet up for pizza in an hour. I felt nearly sick at the thought of eating after all that French toast, but I figured I could at least meet him and talk about whatever was bothering him. I had a strong suspicion that the something had long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a body that Emmett couldn't get out of his mind.
After I hung up the phone, I tossed it into the passenger seat and headed to my apartment. As I drove, I thought about the way my life had changed in the past twenty-four hours. There was way too much to take in at once, and I found myself focusing on little things, like the way Bella's voice sounded when she first woke up and the sweet smile she'd given me when she told me she loved me for the first time.
Darker thoughts of James and what Bella had been through skirted the edge of my mind, but I worked to keep them away. I knew eventually they would break through, but it was too soon, and there was too much I needed to get through today. My fingers flexed on the steering wheel as I forced myself instead to think about the new level of comfort between Bella and me. Last night had been such a strange mixture of terrible and wonderful at once, but the outcome made me happier than I ever remembered being.
I kept my thoughts in those happier places as I drove, and before I knew it, I had parked and was twirling my keys around my finger as I walked to my front door. When I stepped inside, my apartment had a strange, empty feeling, almost as if I'd been gone on a long trip. A hush hung in the air, and the sound of my keys hitting the counter seemed to reverberate. I really hadn't been gone that long, but so much had changed. I felt like a different man, and I was seeing the place with different eyes.
Walking into the living room, I went over to my docked iPod and scrolled through my songs, looking for something to break the silence. Nothing seemed to fit my mood at first, and I grumbled until I saw the perfect song. I started it and then looked around as I straightened back up. For the first time ever, the empty mantle bothered me, and I realized there were no pictures anywhere in the room. I frowned slightly and shook my head again before I went to the bathroom, singing, "Don't worry - I'm not looking at you, gorgeous and dressed in blue…"
I didn't have a lot of time before I was supposed to meet Emmett, so I started the shower and stripped down to my boxers. As I waited for the water to heat, I took out my contacts and rinsed them with saline before putting them back in. I was probably begging for a headache later, but I refused to wear my glasses with all of Bella's guy friends coming into town. I leaned in toward the mirror, running my hand along the stubble on my jaw as I decided to shave even though I hated it. I made a face at the bruise that was definitely spreading beneath my eye.
Nothing like a black eye from your girlfriend when you meet her friends.
It was a little ridiculous, but I was determined to look the best I could when I met them. I wanted to look good for Bella too. There was nothing like the feeling I got when she looked at me with desire so clear on her face.
With the memory of Bella's eyes on me, I let my boxers fall to the floor and stepped into the shower. The water was as hot as I could stand it, helping relax me at the same time that it reminded me of the heat of her body pressed against mine. I gave a small groan that was equal parts contentment and frustration as I thought of her hands rubbing my back and her leg between mine. During the night, her small movements had caused her shirt to lift, leaving my palm pressed against the smooth, supple skin of her side. I could still feel it beneath my fingertips, and I focused on the memory, biting my lip as I closed my eyes.
Holding her last night had been so new – I had never slept beside someone I loved before. It was a feeling unlike any other, and it just made me want her more. Standing here alone, I gave in to the overwhelming urge I'd felt this morning to pull her on top of me, and I imagined Bella straddling me as she leaned forward to kiss me. That deep blue lace bra stood in stark contrast to her creamy skin as my hands roamed her back, pulling her closer as I lifted my head to kiss the swell of her breasts. I began to touch myself almost teasingly, my fingers barely closing around my cock as I stroked slowly.
Bella moved to my jaw, nibbling and sucking gently as slid herself down my body. Her hands explored my chest as her delicious heat settled over my cock, and I squeezed harder with the imagined pressure her movements would bring. Her hips rocked slowly as her lips journeyed over my shoulders while I matched my strokes to her rhythm. Her lips met mine again as I reached behind her, unhooking her bra and letting it fall down her arms. That light sheen of sweat from the gym worked its way into my fantasies, and I saw her pale skin glistening as she moved above me. I licked along her collarbone, tasting the salty sweetness that was my Bella while the movement of her hips brought me to a near-frenzy.
The images were becoming more disjointed as my pumps became more erratic. I twisted my wrist and ran my thumb along the rim of my head, seeing flashes in my mind of Bella's eyes, her face in ecstasy, her body joined with mine. Finally, I could think no more and simply gave myself over to the sensations of pressure and much-needed friction along my length as I panted. I felt the tension building deep inside as my muscles tensed before I came with a desperate growl.
I felt weak and my vision was blurry as I leaned back against the wall of the shower, tilting my head up and looking at the ceiling. My fantasies of Bella had become more graphic with each discovery I made about her, and my need to know her in every way was growing.
Once my breathing slowed again, I pushed away from the wall and picked up my soap, washing as I thought about everything else going on today. I was careful to keep my mind away from thoughts like these normally, but I gave myself over to them completely when I was in the shower. It helped keep me sane and as relaxed as I could be the rest of the time, and it let me focus more clearly on what Bella needed from me when I was with her.
And today, Bella would need me to not be a jealous ass when I met her friends. I grimaced at the thought and gave a resigned sigh as I remembered the picture by her computer. I thought through the names of her friends again, but I knew I forgot one or two. Jake, I remembered clearly. He was the one who had given her a hard time about something the night I watched her raid, and he was also the one who had called today. I hoped he wouldn't try to cause problems, but if he did, I knew I could definitely fucking solve them for him.
I realized I was scowling as I went to wash my hair and forced myself to think about something else. I didn't even know how this Jake guy was going to act. There was no sense in getting myself all worked up about it. Instead, I thought about Emmett's texts and the way he'd sounded on the phone. I didn't know what, exactly, was bothering him, but he obviously needed to talk, which meant I needed to get over there. I shaved as quickly as I could without nicking myself and rinsed my face as the water began cooling.
Stepping out, I dried off and wrapped the towel around my waist as I listened to the music from the living room. The volume was a little low, so it took me a few seconds to place the song. When I heard, "Thanks for all you've shown us," and the guitar riffs that followed, I smiled and began singing with it, my fingers moving over imaginary strings as I went to get dressed.
I walked into my closet singing, "Things were better then, once but never again…" Inside, I ran my fingers through my hair and frowned as I looked at my shirts. I wasn't really sure what everyone else would be wearing, but we were just planning to hang out at Bella's. Still, I didn't want to look like a total slob, and it definitely wouldn't hurt to dress up a bit for my girlfriend.
I was grinning like a fucking idiot at the term as I pulled my thin black henley from its hanger. It fit me well and showed off my chest and arms but wouldn't look like I was trying too hard. I had to laugh at myself – I had never put so much thought into what I was wearing just to go spend the night in somewhere.
Ridiculous.
But the reason for it was anything but ridiculous, so I just shrugged and grabbed a clean pair of jeans from my shelf. After I dressed, I went back into the bathroom to look in the mirror. I ran my fingers through my hair and then just fucking ignored it. Once again, I grimaced at the bruise Bella had given me, but I didn't think it was too noticeable. I really just hoped it wouldn't upset her.
I stood back and straightened my shirt, thinking Alice would be proud of me. She was always after me to pay more attention to how I looked. And I looked…pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. I hoped Bella would like it.
I remembered the way she sounded when she said, "Sometimes I want you so badly, I can't stand it…" and actually shivered.
God damn.
I rolled my eyes as I adjusted myself.
Mind out of the fucking gutter, Cullen.
I flipped off the bathroom light and sat on the edge of my bed to put on my socks and shoes. From the other room, I heard, "I am just a new boy, stranger in this town," making me laugh as I finished tying my shoes. I walked into the living room and shut down the iPod just as it was singing, "Will some woman in this desert land make me feel like a real man?" Rolling my eyes, I shook my head and chuckled before I grabbed my keys and walked out the door.
The drive to the pizza parlor was short. I picked up my phone and hopped out of the car, looking around the parking lot for Emmett's Jeep. When I didn't see it, I glanced down at my phone to check the time and realized I was actually early for once. Huh.
It was only by a few minutes, and Emmett was always right on time, so I decided to go inside. I got our table and ordered a beer for each of us. I was just taking the first sip of mine when he wandered in.
From the hours of text messages, I knew he couldn't have slept very much, so I'd been expecting him to look like shit. I'd even been ready to give him hell about not shaving and wearing the nasty ass UDub sweatshirt he always put on when he was hungover. Instead, a freshly shaven Emmett walked over to me wearing a pale blue sweater and one of those weird flat hats like he was fucking Brad Pitt. I arched an eyebrow in amusement and waited for him to sit.
He didn't even glance at me, just picked up his beer and drained half of it in one pull. When he finally looked up, he said, "So where the fuck were you last night?"
I answered with, "What the fuck is that on your head?"
"A newsboy cap," he said flatly and then looked at me pointedly.
"I stayed at Bella's last night," I answered just as matter-of-factly.
Emmett choked and sprayed beer across the table, thankfully falling a few inches short of me.
"Thanks," I said dryly. "Your confidence is overwhelming."
"Goddamn it," he muttered as he wiped his mouth and mopped up the mess. "How the hell did that happen? Tell me you didn't…" He trailed off suggestively, and I was surprised to see that there was a trace of anger in his eyes. Normally he was all about me getting laid.
I rolled my eyes with a sigh. "Of course not, you douche. We haven't even kissed yet…not really."
His eyes narrowed as he studied me shrewdly and then he nodded. "So how did that happen then? We left when you guys went in her room to talk." I noticed him looking at my nose and the bruise beneath my eye, but he didn't say anything about them.
I thought for a moment about what to say, exactly. How the fuck did that happen anyway? I mean, it made complete sense at the time, but it took so much for us to get to that point. I frowned slightly as I tried to explain, "Well…after you guys left, Bella told me what happened to her." I had to swallow suddenly as a lump formed in my throat. I hadn't really thought about Bella's story since she told me, and now I felt despair for her as a slow, seething rage built in my chest for that motherfucker James.
The waitress chose that moment to appear. My jaw clenched as I worked to calm myself. Emmett asked if I wanted anything, and I managed to shake my head. He ordered a pizza for himself, not even bothering to look at the waitress, who was that same leggy blonde he'd leered at last time. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that Bella was safe at her apartment. She loved me. She wanted me. We'd work through all this shit together, and I would do everything I could to make her life happy.
By the time the blonde left to bring us another round, I was relatively calm again. Emmett was waiting in silence, so I studied the nearly empty bottle in my hands and began peeling the label as I spoke. "So yeah, I know what happened to her now…and god, Em, it's fucked up. I can't imagine going through anything like that, and she's still such a good person. She amazes me. I don't really know how much I can say about it, but I can tell you she's the strongest person I know."
I looked up at him, and he was nodding silently. His eyes were curious, but it was mostly concern that I saw in them as he said quietly, "Is Bella okay?"
Who knew he was such a pansy?
Still, it was my girlfriend he was being all mushy about, so I couldn't give him too much shit. I really appreciated that he was worried about her. I smiled as I told him she was and that we'd talked afterward. I couldn't help myself and was beaming when I said, "She told me she loves me."
"No shit?" Emmett's eyes widened.
I gave a small chuckle and said, "Yeah, it was pretty fucking awesome, actually. And then she asked me to stay, so of course I did."
He thought for a minute before he asked, "Where'd you sleep?"
"Well, I was going to sleep in her recliner, but umm…she asked me to hold her. So I did," I said with a shrug.
"Really?" his voice was a little higher than usual.
I nodded.
"Wow," was all Emmett said.
We sat in silence. I debated telling him about the whole wanting and girlfriend conversation as well but decided to keep that to myself.
"See, I told you not to be a pussy," he finally said, and I laughed.
"Yeah, you did," I said. "Thanks. I owe you." I raised an eyebrow as I looked at him. "Speaking of…what happened to you last night? Why the obsessive texting?"
Emmett took off his hat and dropped it beside his beer. He leaned forward with his elbows on the table and ran his hands through his hair. "Fuck man. I don't even know." He shook his head and started telling me how he felt when he first saw Rosalie, and then he stopped short. "By the way, what the hell was up with telling me Jasper got all the looks? I mean Jasper's gorgeous and all, but Rosalie is…" He just shook his head, his eyes wide and his mouth agape like a fucking goldfish. I had never seen Emmett at a loss for how to describe a woman. He always had plenty to say. In detail.
I grinned and told him it had been Bella's idea – I just went along with it because it was too fun to watch her fuck with him. Then I explained that Rosalie had a boyfriend, and I thought it would actually be nicer to just let him not be interested than make him want what he couldn't have.
Emmett cut me off, shaking his head. "She doesn't have a boyfriend."
I figured as much from the bits of conversation I heard last night, so I said, "Well, yeah, but I mean at the time-"
He interrupted again, "No, they broke up in June."
I raised an eyebrow. June? I wondered why Bella didn't know about it then.
The waitress delivered Emmett's pizza, and he put a piece on his plate but left it untouched after she walked away. Before I could ask, Emmett said, "Something happened to her too, man. I don't know what, but I get the feeling that Royce cocksucker was a real ass." He glowered as his hands formed fists on the tabletop.
I frowned with him. The picture was starting to become a little too clear to me, and I felt sick as I realized what must have happened. There was a reason Bella tried to storm out last night, a reason she felt it was time to tell her story.
Strangely, my first thought after I pieced it together was, Damn, poor Jasper.
His best friend and his twin? No wonder he was a total fucking wreck when Bella and I started spending time together.
While I was lost in thought, Emmett had moved away from talking about whatever had happened to Rosalie and was now telling me about their whole night – his words spilled out so quickly as he talked about how he was instantly attracted to her and how they'd talked for a long time at the diner and forgotten that Alice and Jasper were even there. He looked euphoric as he told me about the shop Rosalie was planning to open, and he even lost me a little bit as he got into the more technical things they'd talked about.
Then he said, "So I drove her back to her hotel, and I swear, man, there was this…this…like…pull between us…" he trailed off, frustrated as he tried to find the words.
I couldn't help it. "You know, a solenoid with an alternating current can break that sort of magnetic pull," I said innocently, remembering the way he'd interrupted me when I was trying to explain how I felt about Bella.
He looked up at me, his eyes narrowing, and my grin finally broke free.
"Dude. Wipe that fucking smirk off your face and help me out here," he said, and I laughed before I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the table. We talked as we slowly drank our beer and Emmett ate his pizza. He'd never really dated the same girl for any length of time, so he was asking advice on everything from how to ask her to where to take her.
It was the blind leading the fucking blind.
At least I had some experience in this area, but I told him, "Look, man, I'm just sort of going with what feels right. I have no clue if I'm doing the right things or not. I just try to put her first and go from there." I shrugged.
Emmett nodded as he listened, but he looked a little lost. I sighed and thought for a moment.
"Alright, look…you're going to have to come up with something that both of you would be interested in. Someplace you'll be comfortable and able to talk because you really want to just get to know her, right?" I waited for him to nod before I continued. "Bella and I went to a comic shop and dinner because she loves them just like I do." It was telling that Emmett didn't grin or taunt me. He just kept nodding like I was a goddamn sage dispensing wisdom upon the masses.
I shook my head with a grin. Good luck listening to me with this shit. "Then you need to ask her on a date officially – not just to hang out or anything. That way, there's no confusion, you know?"
Another nod. Jesus.
"Then just be yourself, man. Do yourself a favor and make sure she knows who you really are," I grimaced.
He ate in silence for a minute, finishing a slice of pizza and washing it down with his beer. He wiped his hands deliberately on his napkin and leaned back, pressing his back against the booth. "Hey umm…" he trailed off.
I was intrigued. There was rarely something Emmett was hesitant to say. "What's up?"
Emmett sighed. "I think I'm good with the whole dating thing, but I've umm…never really, you know, been with someone I care about. How do I do this without fucking up?"
I thought about his question carefully before answering. "Well first," I said bluntly, "keep your dick in your pants. At least for awhile. Just take things slow, you know? Get to know her and see how you both feel without confusing everything with sex." I shrugged. "From there, it's just figuring out what feels right for both of you." I sure as hell sounded like I knew what I was doing. Too bad I was goddamn clueless.
I felt like I had to give him the disclaimer. "I'll be honest. I'm lost most of the time with Bella. Half the time I don't know if what I say is going to make her smile or sob, but what matters is that I want to do it all for her. Get to know Rosalie, and if you do love her, you'll know what to do. Or maybe you'll be a lucky bastard like I am and she'll love you regardless."
He grinned and said, "You are one lucky bastard, that's for sure. Better than that morose cocksucker you used to be."
I laughed with him, and we talked a little while longer before he suddenly looked down at his watch and said, "Oh shit! I gotta go. I'm supposed to pick up Rosalie in ten minutes to take her to Jasper and Bella's."
I snickered at him as he picked up his hat and put it back on. I told him I'd get the check this time, and he stood up, nodding absentmindedly. I was incredibly amused at seeing him this way, and as he walked out without even saying goodbye, I called out, "Go be fucking giddy!"
He flipped me off without turning around.
I laughed while I waited for the waitress to bring me the check and handed her cash before I walked back to my car, completely fucking giddy to go be with my Bella too. The drive to her apartment always seemed to take longer than it should, and I was impatient with the other cars on the road. By the time I parked at her complex, I was grumbling to myself.
My annoyance faded when Bella answered my knock on the door. She grinned at me and said, "Did you know three hours can be a really long fucking time?"
I laughed and pulled her close to hug her, whispering, "It was a long fucking time for me, too," as I kissed her temple. Bella sighed contentedly and pressed herself even closer to me, squeezing me tightly before she finally let go.
We went to the kitchen where Alice was mixing some sort of batter and talking to Jasper, who was sitting on the counter again. The countertop around him was covered with baking racks holding cookies and loaves of bread that were cooling. A cookie sheet with some sort of chocolate candy was near the stove, and I watched as Bella went to the oven and checked on something else baking inside. Everything smelled fantastic, but it looked like Bella was cooking for an army again. Of course, this time there was nearly an army descending soon.
I helped Bella and Alice as they finished getting everything ready, and then Jasper and I went into the dining room to rearrange things and set up the gaming table. The dining room table had to move to Jasper's room, where we stood it on its side as out of the way as we could get it. The gaming table was massive and had to be partially assembled, so it took a little time and effort to get it ready.
When we finished, Jasper went down the hall toward his room while I walked back into the kitchen. Before I could settle in, there was a knock at the door. Bella squealed and grinned, but her hands were covered in the batter Alice had been mixing. I turned on the water for her and told her I'd get the door.
As I walked down the hallway, I found myself standing a little straighter and realized I'd even tugged on my shirt to straighten it. I pushed up my sleeves and opened the door.
Standing before me was the largest man I'd ever seen close up. Emmett was a big guy, but this dude stood a few inches taller, and his chest was easily twice the width of mine. Before I could form any thoughts more coherent than that, he said, "You Edward?" in a deep voice.
I nodded and was about to invite him in when he stepped inside and the world suddenly turned upside down. I was bent over at the waist, the beast's arm around my neck in a headlock. I tried to push away from him, but his vice-like grip was impossible to break. I was just about to punch him in the kidney to get free when I heard Bella's voice demand, "God damn it, Felix! Let him go!"
I felt her move in beside me and heard the muffled smack as she punched Felix. He calmly said, "I'm just making sure he's treating you right, sweetpea."
She said, "He is! Now fucking let him go, or I swear to god, I'll kick you in the balls."
Felix wasn't fazed. He said, "Jazz?"
I heard Jasper's voice answer from down the hallway, "Yeah, Felix, he's good to her. Now you better let him go before Bella permanently damages your chance to have children some day."
Felix relaxed his grip and let me go. I immediately took a step back and glared. My first instinct was to grab Bella and shove her behind me, but I knew there was no danger. I refused to rub my neck and watched as Felix scooped Bella up for a hug. She squealed and kicked her feet, which were a good two feet off the ground. He kissed her cheek before he put her down, and I realized my eyes had narrowed until they were little more than slits.
What the fuck.
It wasn't even a question, just a curse.
Felix winked at Bella and moved past her down the hallway. He patted me on the shoulder as he passed and said, "Nice to meet you, man," before he disappeared into the living room.
The other guys began to walk in behind Felix. Bella was standing near the door, hugging them as they came in. They were all smiling, Bella included, as they greeted each other. The hallway was loud as several different conversations were going on at once.
After he hugged Bella, the one I recognized as Jake stood close by her near the doorway with his arms crossed in front of his chest, watching me and not saying a word.
Another came in and walked toward me, saying simply, "Hi, I'm Quil," as he held out his hand. I introduced myself and shook his hand, and he walked over to the doorway of the kitchen, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. His stance seemed more casual than Jake's, but I noticed he kept his eyes on me as well.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
Just behind Quil was a taller guy with his head shaved. He glared at me the entire time and said, "Paul," not bothering to hold his hand out.
Fucking prick.
I turned away from him to see two guys still making their way inside. One had longer hair and a few tattoos while the other seemed more clean-cut and was on the phone, still standing just outside the door.
Before I could say anything to either of them, I heard Paul call my name. I turned back to look at him, and he said, "You should know that if you hurt Bella, we will fucking end you."
"Fucking Christ, Paul," said the long-haired one.
I saw Quil roll his eyes and shake his head before he looked at me a little sympathetically. Huh. Maybe I'd gotten the wrong impression of him.
I just glanced at Jasper and smirked as I said, "Yeah, I think I've heard that shit before. Thanks."
Jasper cracked a smile and said, "Back the fuck off, Paul, or get the hell out of my apartment."
Paul glowered at me and stalked off into the living room. I rolled my eyes before I turned back toward the door.
"Hey, man, I'm Embry. Don't mind Paul. He's just a dick sometimes," said the one with longer hair as he shrugged. It was cut just at his chin and tucked behind his ears, and I saw the end of some sort of tribal tattoo snaking up his neck to just beneath his right ear. His eyes flickered briefly to the bruise beneath mine.
I heard Quil mutter, "All the fucking time," under his breath.
Embry and I shook hands, and he asked me about med school. Just as I was answering, the last guy finally walked in. He closed his phone, dropping it into his coat pocket as he wrapped Bella into a tight hug. I forgot my conversation while I watched him kiss Bella on the cheek and sway back and forth with her, wearing a huge smile on his face.
"How's my girl?" he asked, and I nearly fucking growled.
Embry followed my gaze and put a hand on my shoulder as he leaned forward to speak quietly. "That's Jared. Don't worry, man – he's engaged, and believe me…neither one has ever been interested." He smiled at me and said, "Good to meet you. I'm sure we'll get a chance to talk later."
He walked past me toward the living room just as Jared let Bella go. He smiled down at her and then walked toward me, the smile never leaving his face. We shook hands, and he gave me the official guy hug, leaning over and clapping me on the back with his other hand. "Edward! It's great to meet you. I've heard a lot about you."
He glanced over his shoulder and winked at Bella, who beamed at me. I was torn between wanting to like the guy and being a jealous ass. Thinking about what else was waiting for me in the living room, I settled on liking the guy. Bella walked over to stand beside me while we were talking, and I smiled down at her when I felt her slip her pinkie into mine. I gently squeezed hers and then lifted her hand, kissing the back of it as I laced my fingers through hers. Jared grinned at us.
"Come on," Bella said as she tugged on my hand. "Let me introduce you to the guys officially." There was a twinkle in her eyes as she motioned toward the living room. We all moved at once, but I was aware of Jake still standing by the front door.
Quil and Jared went ahead of us, joining the other guys sprawling on the couches as Bella and I stepped through the doorway. The smile on Bella's face was infectious – she looked so happy as she stood holding my hand and beaming at them. I reminded myself that these guys were her closest friends, and they all wanted her to be happy…and safe. They'd been through this shit too.
It didn't fully cure my annoyance, but it helped.
My mood was further helped when Bella said, "Hey guys? I want you to meet my boyfriend, Edward."
Embry grinned at me from the loveseat as Jared stood up and came over, hugging both of us again. It felt strangely like I thought announcing an engagement might feel. And I was okay with that. I was a little surprised when Quil followed Jared's example, but I was almost expecting Felix's response.
He pulled me into a ridiculous hug, nearly crushing my ribs, before he slapped me on the back and moved on to hug Bella. I heard him whisper, "I'm so happy for you, sweetpea. You let me know if you need me." She kissed his cheek and then slipped her arm around my waist when he put her down. She smiled up at me, her cheeks flushed pink, and she looked happier than I'd ever seen her.
She pulled me just inside the living room and to the left of the door. "Oh, and there's food in the kitchen," she said with a mischievous grin.
I watched as the guys all stampeded out of the room, talking and laughing. Soon, we were alone, the sounds of conversation drifting to us from the kitchen. I looked down at Bella, and she was smiling quietly up at me. She turned to face me, wrapping both her arms around my waist as she said softly, "Sorry about that. They can be a little…" she shrugged as she trailed off.
"It's fine, love," I answered with a small smile. "They just care about you and worry." I leaned down and hugged her tightly as I whispered, "I do too, you know."
I felt Bella smile against my cheek before she turned and placed a soft kiss near my ear. I held her for a long moment before I stood and said, "I guess we should get in there." She gave a silly grin when I winked at her. I loved that expression on her face.
When we walked into the kitchen, Alice had already been introduced to the guys and was standing with Jasper. He was leaning against the counter with Alice in front of him, and his arms were wrapped around her waist as she leaned back against him. She was watching the horde descend on the food with a wide smile.
Bella and I settled in near them, and she put her arm back around my waist. I loved that she was touching me so openly in front of the guys. I liked her being marked as mine.
My thoughts were going in a dangerous direction when Bella said, "Hey, where's Alex?"
Embry said, "They'll be here first thing in the morning. Jane had something to do for work before they left." He grinned at Bella when she made a face. He put his plate on the counter and said, "Hey…where's the woman of my dreams? I saw her car outside."
Bella said, "Huh…where is Rose?" and everyone turned to look at Jasper.
I spoke up. "Oh, Em was going to pick her up. He took her home last night."
All eyes automatically turned to Embry, who said, "No, I didn't."
Jasper laughed. "Edward's friend Emmett, dumbass. We were all out late last night, and he was going past her hotel." He shrugged but shot a quick glance at me. I gave a little nod with an amused smile. Yeah, dude, he's into your sister.
He made a face, and I raised an eyebrow pointedly as I glanced down at Alice. Jasper laughed and leaned down, kissing her neck suggestively.
Bleh.
I looked away, but I was smiling as I listened to the conversations around us and occasionally joined in. Everyone was raving about Bella's food, and she was blushing and smiling in between talking to the guys and cursing. Jared and I were talking about some of the problems with the pathfinding in Red Alert 3 when Bella turned to me and said quietly, "Can I get you anything?"
I smiled at her softly, touched by the way she always tried to take care of me. "No, sweetheart, I'm fine…I just want you to have a good time." I brushed her cheek with the back of my fingers as she stared up into my eyes.
She is beyond beautiful.
The world around us always seemed to disappear when we looked at each other this way, and I wondered if she felt the same. The smile that spread on her lips was slow and happy. We reflexively turned toward each other, and her hands rested on my hips just as my arms encircled her shoulders. She watched me for a moment longer and then moved closer to me, hugging me tightly with her face buried in my chest. I bowed my head, her hair tickling my face as I kissed the top of her head.
I was suddenly very aware that silence reigned in the kitchen.
I raised my head and looked around to find that everyone was watching us. Their expressions ranged from amusement on Quil's face to affection on Felix's…to jealousy on Jake's. Bella must have noticed the silence as well because she raised her head slowly to look around.
"Go Bella," Quil broke the tension with a grin.
Everyone laughed and talk resumed as I smiled gratefully at Quil.
Definitely the wrong impression.
A few minutes later, Rosalie walked into the room followed by Emmett. He was still wearing that ridiculous hat and grinning like a fucking moron. We had all been too loud to hear the door, but as soon as she walked in, the guys all started calling out, "Rose!" and hugging her as the introductions began again. I didn't catch most of it, but I did notice that Jake shook Emmett's hand.
No doubt about how he felt about me now, was there?
I shrugged. He could be a prick all he wanted. Didn't change the fact that Bella picked me. I was ridiculously giddy with that thought and couldn't help myself as I leaned down and kissed her cheek. I knew he was watching us out of the corner of his eye. He had been since they got here. Bella looked up at me with a surprised smile and said softly, "I love you."
I felt like the biggest ass for kissing her to taunt him as I said, "I love you too, sweetheart."
Thankfully, Emmett's booming voice interrupted my darker thoughts as I heard him say, "Felix, huh? Did your mom not like you?"
Bella and I both glanced over to watch. Felix waffled between anger and amusement as he said, "You got a fucking problem with my name?"
Emmett grinned and said, "Dude. Seriously? My name's Emmett."
They stared at each other for a minute before they both laughed. I shook my head as they started talking easily. Emmett could always say whatever the hell he wanted and still get along with anyone.
Not long after that, Bella herded us all into the dining room, and Jasper and I went to the office to grab all their D&D manuals. As we walked in, Jasper looked over and said, "How you holding up, man?"
I chuckled and said, "I'm fine, since I managed to get away before Felix broke my fucking neck."
He grinned as he started grabbing books from the shelf and piling them on the floor. He lowered his voice and said, "Hey, don't worry about Paul and Jake. Paul will come around – he's an ass to everybody in the beginning. Jake is just…"
"Jealous," I finished for him.
He sighed and nodded. "He'll get over it. And if he doesn't…" He shrugged.
I picked up the pile he'd made and then stopped, looking down at him. "Hey, Jasper?"
"Yeah?" he asked, looking for particular books as he muttered to himself. When I didn't say anything for a minute, he stopped and looked up at me. "What's up, Edward?"
"There's no chance that Bella…?" I trailed off, not even wanting to finish the question.
Jasper gave me an understanding smile though there was definitely some amusement in his eyes as he said, "No way, man. Bella's never been interested in Jake at all. Besides, she's gone completely stupid over you."
I felt my cheeks heat, increasing that embarrassing middle-schooler-with-a-crush feeling. I shifted the books in my hands and muttered, "Thanks," before I walked out into the hall. Jasper chuckled quietly behind me.
We settled around the gaming table, and the sound of the Seahawks game drifted in from the living room where Felix was watching it. Bella and I were sitting at the end of the table behind the wooden screen, and she was busy showing me the different charts and things I would need to use to help her. She was so cute when she was excited about this stuff, and she kept talking so quickly that I had to listen carefully to keep up. Jake sat just to her right on the side of the table, and he was flipping through his book with more force than was necessary. Embry was just to my left, rolling his dice repeatedly.
I'd been surprised to see Rosalie sit down on the other side of Jake. She didn't seem the type to play, but when I'd asked about it, she'd said, "Trust me…it wasn't originally my idea, but these two fucking bugged me until I gave in. It's a lot more fun than it looks, though, and it gives me a chance to give all these guys shit." Jake was sitting at her side petulantly, and she elbowed him in the ribs and kept messing with him until he finally smiled and started talking to her. Emmett wandered back down the hall from the bathroom and sat on Rosalie's other side. He picked up one of the miniatures sitting on the table and said, "Oh, this one's pretty cool!"
Rosalie plucked it out of his hand and said, "I don't think so, bitch. That's my dwarf. I'm always the warrior."
All the movement at the table had stilled, and I looked around to find they had all paused in the middle of whatever they were doing – pages in mid-turn, dice in hand - and were watching with amused grins. Rosalie picked up another miniature and handed it to Emmett, saying, "Here you go. You can be a ranger."
Emmett turned it around in his hand with a small frown as he studied it. Then he said, "Hey, this one has tits!"
Snickers and outright laughter erupted around the table. Emmett just grinned and turned to Rosalie, trying to talk her into switching. He was telling her it made sense for him to play the guy and her to play the girl when she said, "It's called roleplay, Emmett. You pick a role, and you play it."
Jared snickered and whispered something to Embry, who threw back his head and laughed. Rosalie picked up a die and threw it, hitting Embry on the forehead without even pausing in her conversation with Emmett. I noticed the two of them were turned completely towards each other, and she was smiling as she teased him. I knew Emmett would be asking about it later, so I watched when I could.
He had resorted to begging now, and the look on Rosalie's face told me she was enjoying that a little too much. Poor bastard.
I glanced away from them and caught sight of Alice sitting at the other end of the table grinning at me. Her chair was pulled close to Jasper's, and he was leaning over as he read. Bella had told me that she'd banished Jasper to the other end of the table a long time ago because he liked to glance over the screen and cheat whenever he could. He claimed it wasn't true, but Bella liked to keep an eye on him.
As I looked at Alice, I thought of how strange it was that we'd ended up here, sitting around a table with a bunch of guys that we really didn't know, playing a game we'd never really been interested in. Then again, I'd never really thought I'd be sitting next to a woman I loved as much as I loved Bella.
Lost in thought, I was a little surprised when I felt something bump against my knee. I glanced at Bella, but she was studiously ignoring me, looking down as she studied her book. I saw a smile tugging at her lips, though. I looked down at her left hand resting on her thigh. It was higher up than I'd ever really touched her, but I decided to test our new level of comfort just a little. Keeping my eyes off of her, I went back to reading the book I was supposed to be learning from. I slowly moved my hand onto Bella's thigh and slid my pinkie beneath hers.
From the corner of my eye, I saw her quiet smile as she bit her bottom lip, and she wrapped her little finger around mine, squeezing gently. The noise of the conversations around us faded into the background as I lifted my head and looked at Bella, only to find her watching me too. We shared a quiet smile, and all I could think was, I fucking love my girlfriend.
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A/N: I want to thank AHelm, hammondgirl, and kimberlycullen10 for being extra eyes and helping me make it through this chapter. You ladies are completely made of win.
AngstGoddess003 recently published an article for The Lazy, Yet Discerning Ficster blog called "OMJ: Exploring the Jasper Factor." It examines the different types of Jasper stories out there, and I was honored to be interviewed for it. If you get a chance, go check it out – she did a fantastic job with it! There's a link to the right.
The songs playing at Edward's apartment were "Whisper" by Morphine, "My Name Is Jonas" by Weezer, and "Young Lust" by Pink Floyd.
Oh, and mirul? Breathe, bb. It's okay – see? He made it through the first day unscathed…mostly :)
End stupidly long A/N
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